Me A to Z

Age: 27

Bed Size: King

Car: Hyundai Elantra

Dad's Name: Gary

Essential Start Your Day Item: BBT

Favorite Actor: Will Ferrel

Gold or Silver: Gold

Height: 5'3"

Instruments You Played: None

Job Title: Program Officer

Kids: Hoping

Living Arrangement: In a home with my husband and dog

Mom's Name: Debbie

Nicknames: Jess

Overnight Hospital Stay Other than Birth: None

Pet Peeve: The bottom of people's feet.  They completely gross me out.  I hate seeing them.

Quotes You Like: "A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference." A.A. Milne in Winnie the Pooh

Right of Left-Handed: Right

Siblings: One little brother who's 24

Time You Wake Up: Between 6:30 and 7:00

Underwear: Briefs

Vegetable You Dislike: Mushrooms, ick.

Ways You Run Late: I'm really bad at judging how long things will take, which makes me persistently 5 or 10 minutes late.

X-rays You've Had: Chest, left knee, right hand.  I've torn my left knee ACL twice and had a bone tumor in my right hand during college. 

Yummy Food You Make: I'm a huge fan of soup, so I have quite a few good recipes I make.

Zodiac: Aquarius

Confessions of a Diaphragm Abuser

I quit taking BCP in October even though we weren't quite ready to TTC. We've never used condoms since we are high school sweethearts. We tried them after BCP but were not fans. My MD gave me a prescription for a diaphragm.

First off, I had no idea that there are different vajayjay sizes. Mine is a rather petite 65 mm. Secondly, diaphragms are harder to find than grade A cocaine. I tried three local pharmacies, all of whom were on backorder for at least a month. Thanksgiving rolled around with no diaphragm. We were in Mexico for week-long vacation. We were responsible enough to bring condoms, but not responsible enough to use them. It didn't help that it was all inclusive, so sliding on a condom after practically having a strawberry daquiri IV was almost impossible.

When we got back from Mexico I took matters into my own hands and bought a diaphragm from an online UK pharmacy. We used it a whole three times before deciding that we were ready to TTC.

Now for the abuse. Brett left super early Monday morning. We had sex that morning. Afterwards I was thinking how much I hope those spermies stay in there and alive a long time in case I ovulate while hubs is out of town. I'm sure you see where this is going - I put the diaphragm in right afterwards. My thinking was that it could contain my fertile CM and his sperm. My chart doesn't show O yet, so it was probably all for naught. What do you guys think? Was this so stupid or a stroke of genius?

Sigh of Relief

Last you heard from me I was perplexed by EWCM on CD 10 when I didn't ovulate until 24 last cycle. Well, my body has continued to confuse me. Saturday I was getting egg whites all over the place, but we were in our hometown visiting family and were booked up all day. I was worried that we wouldn't get a chance to have sex, especially since we were staying at his parents' house in a tiny bed. Mid-way through the evening, fate handed us a sublime opportunity. Our car's battery died in a pretty remote part of town. I called my dad to come jumpstart us. I looked at Brett and commented that we'd be bored stiff waiting. Both of our eyebrows rose and, though I'm ashamed to, I'll admit that we had sex in the front seat of our car. That is classy stuff. If it works, I can't wait to tell the little bean that we conceived them when our car broke down.

I haven't got a clue if it has a chance to work, though. I decided at the start of this cycle to be less crazy about temping at the same time because it was really getting in the way of me actually sleeping. As a result, my chart is full of open circles and almost useless for detecting ovulation. I guess I learned a lesson on that one. I was so stressed today because I woke up and my temp was the lowest it's been all cycle. The problem is I had to get up at 4:00 am to take DH to the airport. He'll be gone until Saturday, so I hope I either just ovulated or will hold off until after he's back.

The great news today is that I met with my boss about my new position and it sounds like I'll be busy, but it will be spread throughout the year, rather than concentrated during the legislative session. This is fantastic news because it means that we can continue trying without pausing to avoid maternity leave during session.

I am so thrilled to have this great news. It's such a load off and makes me a lot less worried about making this cycle work.

WTF?

My body has me completely perplexed. I was hunkering down for the long wait until ovulation, but my body seems to have other plans. Between a high cervix and watery CM, ovulation seems to be just around the corner.

My husband will be out of town for work from Monday to Saturday, so I hope I either O soon or hold out until after he's back.

Trying to Work the Energy Up...

For our first cycle TTC, I had no idea when to expect ovulation and was also really bad at decoding my cervical mucous.  As a result, we decided to have sex like rabbits.  We were aiming for every other day, but then every week or so I'd become convinced I was ovulating at that very second, so we'd do it every day.

I can't lie and say it was great because at least half the time it was clearly baby-making sex for both of us.  No candles or romantic music.  Just me rolling over first thing in the morning and saying, "Do you want to do it now or later?  You have to pick one."  My poor husband was such a trooper.

I had wet CM today, which is awfully early.  To be CD 8 and get wet CM seems a little nuts when I ovulated at CD 24 last cycle.  I'm sure it's just a false start, but we'll be having sex tonight just in case.  We haven't had sex since I ovulated, which is a little sad but standard for us.  I've been trying to justify it by telling myself that we are saving up our energy for this cycle.  That's partially true.  The other part of the story is that we've been married for four years now and have both been working extra long hours lately.  I think we'd both prefer to cuddle on the couch than pounce in the bedroom.

Yeah and Boo

Well, this day has brought good news and bad news.  The good news is that I got a promotion.  My boss pulled me into his office and closed the door (a rare occurrence in our office's culture).  I was so nervous that he'd have bad news since our endowment was almost entirely invested in the stock market.  Instead, he said that he wants to promote me to handle the foundation's public policy and lobbying.  I'm so excited about the position and will get to take lots of ownership for directing the foundation's efforts.

The only downside is that I'll likely be responsible for lobbying the state legislature which meets from January to May every year.  This wouldn't be a problem except that I really don't want to be having a baby during those months, especially not in 2010 since it will be my first full legislative session.  The hubby and I are trying to take a wait and see approach to this problem.  If we get pregnant this cycle (please God) then I'd be due at the end of November, which wouldn't conflict with the session.  If not, I'll have to determine whether I'm willing to be pregnant during session.

There's also a chance that I will only be lobbying occasionally or will be lobbying local governments.  This would be another way out of my predicament.  I guess time will tell.  In the meantime, I'd love lots of baby dust for this cycle.

Processing

So, my chin-up attitude about cycle 1 not working imploded Thursday night. I am in a book club, which is super fun and would be more appropriately named wine club. The 4+ glasses of wine I had during book club on Thursday were just what I needed to let my feelings out. After I got home, I just started sobbing in my husband's arms. It was cathartic to get that out and I'm glad I can get on with cycle #2 now.

Brett and I had a great weekend -- we went out with another couple for dinner on Friday night. This couple is super on top of their finances. They have no debt, 6 months of living expenses in savings, and pay 4 times their mortgage every month. I was super impressed by their diligence (and pretty sure they make loads more money than us since we are both in the non-profit field). Anyway, our dinner with them inspired us to spend much of the weekend coming up with some plans for our lives.

I recently read an article in Real Simple about how families should be run more like businesses, meaning that they should have core values and priorities. On Friday night, we brainstormed the traits that we most value and want to pass along to our families. They are: unconditional love, kindness, confidence, health, and learning. When it came time to choose a priority, we both knew that having a baby would be our choice. However, when Brett wrote it down in our notebook, he wrote, "create life." I'd never thought of it that way and it sent shivers up my spine and tears to my eyes. It's such a profound thing to do.

We made two sub-goals: develop healthy habits and make new relationships. Since we've only lived here for six months and have lots of family in town, we haven't done much to expand our social circle.

It was a great exercise for Brett and I to talk through who we want to be and the kind of family we want to create.