Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Sometimes I Wonder

Sometimes I wonder why I still work. At the end of days like this when I'm sick, tired, and feeling stressed by my job, I can't help but wonder why I do it. Yesterday was Brett's first day in his new role at work. He's now making 20k more than he did previously.

I still make a pretty hefty income, but am no longer the "primary" breadwinner. I just feel so frustrated in my job. I leave my boy for more than 40 hours each week, but I don't feel like I'm making much difference in the world, which is very frustrating.

At the same time, I know that time really does fly and James will be in school in no time. If I stopped working now, I worry about what it would do to my career in the long-run. I'm making 65k a year right now and the reality is that we could cut our household expenses to absorb the loss of my income but we'd have to give up certain things we really enjoy and sacrifice future big purchases we hope to make (like a second home where we hope to enjoy lots of special memories with our son).

I just feel so depleted right now. It feels like somebody or something always needs more from me than I can give. I work really hard to fulfill people's needs and expectations, but at the end of the day I have no energy left to take care of myself.

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