Like a Light Bulb

This is my first month charting and I did everything I could think of to educate myself beforehand. I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler and I did the charting course on Fertility Friend. I read over and over again that cervical mucus changes consistency over the course of a menstrual cycle. Going from dry right after a period to sticky, then creamy, then watery, and finally egg whitish just before ovulation. Despite all my efforts to read up, I could not, for the life of me, recognize these changes in my own CM. That's because I ovulate late and have long cycles, so for the first 15 days of my cycle, when the "average" woman is experiencing this transition, my body was producing absolutely nothing.

In the last few days, I've finally experienced watery and creamy CM and it all makes so much sense now that I know what I'm looking for. It's like a light bulb went off and I realized that when FF said creamy CM was like lotion, they REALLY meant it. I also went to the My Beautiful Cervix website, which was gagworthy and yet helpful all at the same time.

Thanks, Bro

So, my younger brother has been living in our basement since September. He travels Monday through Friday for his job as an oil landman, which means he's usually only at our place from Friday night to Monday afternoon. Much of that time he's with his friends or girlfriend, so we hardly ever see him.

I don't think he would ever intentionally snoop around our place, but it must've happened. I talked with my dad last night and he said, "Sean says you're pregnant." First off, I'm not so, ouch. Secondly, I ask him why Sean would think that. He says, no kidding, that Sean found my "nativity vitamins." I correct him that they are pre natal vitamins and that doctors recommend them for all women of childbearing age. I'm pretty sure he knows something's up, but I don't mind because he's definitely not a blabbermouth like my mom.

My dad's sort of a hippy who grew up and now he's pissed about it. Up until when I was in high school he made a good effort to hold a steady 8 to 5 job, coach softball, etc. But, once I got in high school he quit his job and has been self-employed ever since. I was pretty dubious about whether being self-employed would actually generate any income, but he's found a real niche for himself providing training for aircraft manufacturing employees. He also sells on ebay a lot, which is slightly embarassing. He's an excellent and hilarious writer. His ebay sales actually have quite a following because each posting reads more like a funny blog entry about the item (a little like the item descriptions on woot).

I went to graduate school at an Ivy League university that was full of some students like me who had simply been bright and worked their asses off to succeed. There were others who were bright and hard-working but also happened to have notable parents -- business owners, ambassadors, etc. You can imagine the awkwardness when I revealed that my dad's primary occupation was selling on ebay.

I think everyone who is trying to conceive their first baby spends time imagining how friends and family members will react to the news. When I think about my dad, I never imagine actually telling him I'm pregnant, but I do spend a lot of time imagining him playing with our baby. He's great around kids and his specialty is the toddler-phase. I'm looking forward to watching that.

Crosshairs!!

I finally have crosshairs on my chart. Fertility Friend is saying that I ovulated on CD 15, which was Friday. I'm a little dubious only because my two high temps were followed by one that's pretty low. Also, the two high temps weren't super-reliable since I drank on both Friday (a little) and Saturday (a little more) nights. Also, I don't set an alarm on Saturday or Sunday mornings since I have a really hard time going to sleep.

Another complication is that Sunday and Monday mornings I was so anxious and excited to see if the temperature rise continued that I ended up waking up early both mornings. We'll see if the temperature shift continues tomorrow.

Nursery Ideas

For the longest time I said I'd do a classic Winnie the Pooh theme for a nursery.  Unfortunately, lots of people had that same idea and now there is tons of mass produced Classic Pooh stuff, which would make it easier to do, but also a lot less original.  I've been thinking about other themes and stumble across www.ohdeedoh.com.  Here's a couple of my favorite nurseries from that site:

Ovulating, Maybe?

This is my first month charting and my temps are on the rise, so I think I may actually be ovulating. This is a double hallelujah moment because:

1. Just coming off birth control pills and not having charted before, I wasn't 100% sure whether I would be ovulating.
   
2. I've had pretty long cycles so far, but it looks like I'm ovulating on CD 15, which will lead to a short/normal length cycle.
   

We'll see what tomorrow's temperatures bring. I did have a glass of wine Friday and a few glasses Saturday, so I hope that's not what's impacting my chart. There have been other mornings when I drank the previous night and my temps didn't seem to be impacted.

Business of Being Born

We just finished watching "The Business of Being Born," a documentary about natural childbirth.  Even before watching the film, I was contemplating opting for a natural childbirth.  A couple of years ago I read Misconceptions by Nomi Wolf.

The gist of both the film and book is that childbirth is something that women have been birthing children naturally for hundreds of years with relatively few complications.  Modern medicine has been invaluable in decreasing infant mortality by tackling high-risk and difficult births.  But, for the most part, most women don't need medically intensive births, which have a higher rate of induction, cesearean section, episiotomies, forcep and vacuum use.

I'm still a little nervous about birthing at home, so I'd like to try to have a midwife assisted birth in a hospital.

Best Dog Ever

We've had our dog for just over five years now.  We rescued him from the local shelter during our last semester of college.  He's the absolute sweetest thing ever.  If we have a baby that's half as well-behaved and lovable as him, I'll feel so lucky.

Dear Diary...

I don't know how this blog is different from a diary. Granted, some blogs are out there for public viewing, but this one's not. It's my own little piece of cyberspace where I am divulging my deepest secrets into a large void. I love it like that. At the same time, I know that the interwebs are filled with women just like me who are trying to have their first child. Through the bump and other message boards, I've come across so many of these women who are full of knowledge, willing to lend advice, and able to empathize with the crazy road to motherhood.

I'll probably share this blog with them because I could really use their knowledge and insight. I will also value the anonymity that this format provides me. It gives me the opportunity to continue discussing very private matters without fear of disruption to my real life.

Waiting for the O and Not the Fun Kind

OK, well, maybe every type of O is somewhat fun. I know it's too early to tell much, but I'm crazy about keeping an eye on this chart. Nothing could make me so excited to get up at 6:15 am every morning as the joy of seeing what my temperature is. Pathetic, I know. This is my third cycle off BCP and my first cycle charting.

I'm kind of thinking of it as a much more productive version of a science experiment, only it's taking forever, has an unpredictable outcome, and involves getting more personal with my body than ever before. I'm still new to this and find it interesting, so I'll just randomly take my temp sometimes. I never chart it or even think much of it. I'm kinda just curious to know what different activities will do to my body. FYI -- as spicy as that salsa is, it won't actually increase your temp.

Only My Dentist Knows

I've decided to keep my attempts at trying to conceive pretty private. I'm in a book club and one girl in there has been trying for about six months, so I've confided in her. I've made small hints to friends and family, but really want to reserve the joy and potential pains for my husband and I. Nonetheless, I've told my dentist. A strange choice, right? It's only because when I saw her in October she mentioned that I'll need a crown sometime in 2009. I decided to do it early so that if I get pregnant I won't have to worry about having any trouble with my teeth.

I'll never forget that my mom had to have a cavity filled when she was in her second trimester with me. They told her that the anesthetic was baby-safe, especially in the second trimester, but she was still worried about it, so she got a cavity-filled without anything. That just amazes me.

Anyhow, I went to the dentist and, even though I barely know her, it was so exciting to tell her that we are trying.

Sanity, How I Miss Thee

I'd like to say that I've been trying to conceive for just a month now, but it sort of feels like an even longer process than that. For a long time, my husband and I have known that we want to have kids. Our ideas about who we are and who we'd become as adults have really changed in the 10 years since we met in high school. We went through an uber-religious, conservative phase where we dreamed about raising a family in our small, Midwestern town. Then we studied abroad and decided that Barcelona was the best city for us and our phantom family. Next, we were into the East Coast, liberal-elite, yuppy stuff. Finally, we have settled down into a big city just a few hours from where we grew up.

In the middle of October 2008, I went off BCP. We weren't so sure that we were ready to try for a baby, but I wanted to give my body a chance to make hormones on its own. That way, when we decided to try, we'd be ready. Being very Type-A and obsessed with planning, Brett and I had some financial goals we wanted to meet before taking that plunge. Fortunately, we are comfortable with our finances and ready to start trying.

Initially, our plan was to stop using any forms of birth control and see what happens -- you know, let nature do its thing. Unfortunately, I seem to have spare time on my hands and obsessing over my temperature, CM, and message boards is way too entertaining for me not to do. The only downside? My Type-A personality translates into obsession quickly.