Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Sanity, How I Miss Thee

I'd like to say that I've been trying to conceive for just a month now, but it sort of feels like an even longer process than that. For a long time, my husband and I have known that we want to have kids. Our ideas about who we are and who we'd become as adults have really changed in the 10 years since we met in high school. We went through an uber-religious, conservative phase where we dreamed about raising a family in our small, Midwestern town. Then we studied abroad and decided that Barcelona was the best city for us and our phantom family. Next, we were into the East Coast, liberal-elite, yuppy stuff. Finally, we have settled down into a big city just a few hours from where we grew up.

In the middle of October 2008, I went off BCP. We weren't so sure that we were ready to try for a baby, but I wanted to give my body a chance to make hormones on its own. That way, when we decided to try, we'd be ready. Being very Type-A and obsessed with planning, Brett and I had some financial goals we wanted to meet before taking that plunge. Fortunately, we are comfortable with our finances and ready to start trying.

Initially, our plan was to stop using any forms of birth control and see what happens -- you know, let nature do its thing. Unfortunately, I seem to have spare time on my hands and obsessing over my temperature, CM, and message boards is way too entertaining for me not to do. The only downside? My Type-A personality translates into obsession quickly.

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