Monday, November 9, 2009

The Great Debate

As if I don't have enough to worry about, my mother decided to take a stand this weekend and forcefully voice her opinion that we need to baptize the baby. Her first choice would be that we baptize him in the Catholic church, but I am no longer a practicing Catholic and Brett never was, so I don't want to baptize the baby in the Catholic church.

Since moving here, we've been looking for a christian church that we are both comfortable with and I think we've finally found one. I told my mom that we would probably get the baby baptized there. While she's not happy that it's not a Catholic church, her newest "requirement" is that we have a big party to celebrate the baptism. My problem is that neither Brett nor I care particularly much about whether the baby's baptized or not. We are doing it, at least partially, for my mom. It just seems disingenuous to have a party to celebrate something that we aren't really that into.

I also don't want the stress of planning and hosting a party for the baptism. Furthermore, I don't want our friends and family members to feel like it's one more thing they have to bring us a present for. They've already done so much for us.

The party is apparently super important to my mom, as is the Catholic baptism thing. She has said that the first time she is alone with the baby, she plans to baptize him herself. This just feels like a huge intrusion.

Part of me wants to take the path of least resistance and give her everything she wants just to shut her up. But, part of me recognizes that this is a decision that needs to be made by my husband and I and that her opinion really doesn't matter. I feel like she is oftentimes inserting herself into my marriage in really unproductive ways. It's like she has no respect for the fact that Brett and I need to make some decisions on our own and she needs to learn to respect those decisions.

I'm frustrated that she's bringing it up now because I have a lot to deal with anyway. Between finishing up my last weeks of work, managing the GD, worrying about the health of this baby, and finishing up odds 'n' ends before his arrival, the last thing I need is another huge religious showdown with my mother.

1 comment:

  1. I say nip it in the bud now and tell her no. Otherwise she may always come up with stuff for you guys with raising your baby. And it could get worse with each additional child. It sucks, but in the end it'll be much better.

    Now, to figure out how to do that....